He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
