Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
