The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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