Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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