Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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