awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize