so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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