fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
