i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
