When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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