Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
