Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
