The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
