Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize