i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
