these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
