My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
