You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
