Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
