can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
