Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
