We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize