doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
