i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sext me about skeletons
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
