i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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