Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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