meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
