I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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