there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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