Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
and she was petting her beer can
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
