How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
