The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
