I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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