Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
