Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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