I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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