I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
someone owes me an orgasm
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
