I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
