Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
