My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize