He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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