I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think people are normalizing furries
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
