My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think i got beer on your cat.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
