Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
