FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
