she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
