I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize