we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
