what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
