That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
