After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My ass is underappreciated
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
