their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
