I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
