I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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