i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
