How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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