hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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