My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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