wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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