So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
