I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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