Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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